Limericks
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No postcards on this page, just Limericks ! I love a good Limerick. Always have and no doubt always will. No
matter whether they are rude or just silly, I love 'em. But I am a bit fussy. They must scan properly, or as near
as is possible, and the punch line should be the punch line and not - as in Edward Lear's limericks - just a
repeat of the first line.   I was going to put these on the relevant web page - ie the young man from
Aberystwyth (which doesn't scan !) would have been on our Aberystwyth page - but some of you might be
offended so I've just linked them to this page with a warning so that you have a choice. If you've arrived here
by choice, enjoy the poems !   One more thing - I've tried to list them alphabetically, by place name.
There was a young man from Aberystwyth
Who found a young girl to play whist with.
Then, when they were able,
Reached under the table
And played with the things that they p1ssed with.
Send us your Limericks ! They should be about any of
the places or people which appear on this site. Make
sure they scan properly - and if we don't like 'em, we
won't publish 'em ! We'll acknowledge those that we do
publish, unless you tell us not to.
A vice most obscene & unsavoury
Held the Bishop of Gloucester in slavery -
With horrible howls
He would bugger young owls,
Which he kept in an undergound aviary!
A certain young sheik of Algiers
Said to his harem, "My dears,
Though you may think it odd of me,
I'm tired of just sodomy
Let's try straight f*cking."  (loud cheers!)
There once was a curate from Salisbury
Whose manners were most halisbury scalisbury.
He ran around Hampshire
Without any pampshire
'Til the bishop compelled him to walisbury.

This was my uncle's favourite Limerick - he was
friends with the then Bishop of Salisbury. I don't wish
to appear patronising, but no doubt many readers will
not get this one, so find out the abbreviated Latin
name for Salisbury and the abbreviation for
Hampshire and all will be revealed. You may use the
search box below.
There once was a fellow from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight 'un"
She said, "Bless my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right 'un".
There was a young lady from Brent
With a c*nt of enormous extent,
And so deep and so wide,
The acoustics inside
Were so good you could hear when you spent.
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There was a young girl from Odessa,
A rather unblushing transgressor.
When sent to the priest
The lewd little beast
Began to undress her confessor.
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A young girl from Oxford University
When asked about sexual diversity,
Said "Screwing’s okay
In the old fashioned way,
But I do like a touch of perversity".
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There was a young girl from Cape Cod
Who thought babies were fashioned by God.
But 'twas not the Almighty
Who lifted her nightie -
'Twas Roger the Lodger, the sod !
A young girl called Clare from New York
Bunged up her arse with a cork.
Said her boyfriend "But Clare,
Please let me in there ",
So she pulled out the cork with a fork.
I knew a young fellow from Kings,
Who cared not for whores and such things.
His height of desire,
Was a boy from the choir,
With a bum like a jelly on springs.
There was a young fellow from Trinity
Who ruined his sister's virginity.
Buggered his brother,
Had twins by his mother
And took a degree in divinity.
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There was a young student at Caius
Who whizzed down the slopes on his skaius;
But a Fellow of Magdalene
Said "I prefer dagdalene -
"I've got where I am by degraius!"